My sister, Elena, had been diagnosed with a highly metastatic form of cancer only a month after our midwives were fired from a local practice. If my sister could (and was!) battling, and seemed to be kicking cancer’s ass, well, I would battle right along with her. While I would continue to fight against the injustices that I witnessed daily in my community, not only about access to midwives, but also to woman-centered care locally and nationwide, I would try to spend as much time with my sister as possible.

About a year after Elena’s diagnosis, she lost her battle, and she suddenly passed away.  I was with her as she took those last difficult breaths. There were moments that I thought as I slept next to her on the hard cot in her hospital room, and as I kept certain forces at bay (unwelcomed visitors, etc.) that this was actually the culmination of my work as a doula. I will always hold those moments with my sister close, as difficult and painful as they were.

This was the second year that we experienced the holidays without my sister. It was harder this year for me than last year. Last week I sat across from my friend and midwife, Suzanne, one of the two midwives who was dismissed from our local practice. As I wept, wailed, and screamed (unfortunately my grief has recently manifested as anger towards people who I dearly love), Suzanne gently suggested that I contact a therapist. She chose her words carefully, “Sylvia, I want you to consider if you might benefit from medication, therapy, or both.” It is one of the things that I appreciate about the way that midwives practice. They are at their core “with woman,” and they are trained to care for the total person. I appreciate that Suzanne recommended that I seek help not only as my friend, but also as a health care practitioner.

The last two years were for me the intersection of a personal fight (dealing with my sister’s illness and death) and of a more public battle (increasing access to midwives.) It’s been a tough couple of years. For me “put your big girl panties on” has meant that I got up every day and not only take care of myself and of my children, but it has also meant that I continued to work to make change in my community and beyond. As we become “big girls,”(i.e. women) we face major life changes and tragedies. “Putting my girl panties on” means that I need to prepare myself mentally and physically for this next stage in my life. I am facing life without my big sister, and I am also squarely in the middle of middle age. (Did you know, by the way, that midwives provide continuity of care throughout women’s lives?) I have made an appointment with a therapist to help me navigate these unchartered waters. Thank you, Suzanne, midwife and friend, for reminding me that it’s necessary to take care of this aspect of my health.

So, I leave you with this. When I say, “put your big girl panties on” I mean that we all have our personal and public battles to fight. For me it’s one of the mantras that have helped me through the past couple of years. Join me in putting ‘em on and in fighting your own fight: whatever this may be.

Those of you who follow us on Facebook , know that Where’s My Midwife? has been busy giving birth and participating in other BOLD activities. There is much happening, and it is very cool and exciting, but I will let the lovely and talented Kirsti and Anna share those stories.

For now, I wanted to tell you about a very odd experience I had a couple of weeks ago. I went to see my midwife, and when I left, I was sad. I know, I know. You are thinking, “Honey, you ain’t the first person to be sad. Let me tell you about a SAD trip to see a health care professional!” And you’re right. You are totally right.

What seemed so unusual, at least to me, was the reason for my sadness. I was there for a routine checkup. Yes, every woman’s favorite – the annual exam. All was well, and as I was leaving everyone, from the lovely nurse who asked me about all my other kids at each visit during my last pregnancy to the ladies at the front desk who were simply kind enough to treat me as a person and not a number, said, “Bye! See you next year!” Really? I have to go a year without seeing this people? I’m going to miss them. And that doesn’t even include my midwife. Love her! She is amazing! That is all I can say.

But it struck me as I was driving home, who is their right mind is sad about not spending time with the people who poke and prod at their most sensitive parts? A woman seeing a midwife, that’s who.

What is BOLD you ask? BOLD (“Birth” On Labor Day) is a global movement to make maternity care mother-friendly. Folks all over the world sign up to perform a play called “Birth” by Karen Brody over Labor Day weekend.  Ms. Brody conducted hundreds of interviews with women about their birth experiences, and condensed them into seven interwoven monologues that paint a vivid picture of birth in our country.  People all over the world are coming together to laugh and cry, to be entertained and educated, to discuss how to improve maternity care and to raise money for organizations doing the work.

The women in the play could be your best friend, sister, neighbor or coworker and their stories reflect the reality of giving birth today. There is ecstasy, pain, disappointment, rejoicing, and poop!

BOLD has been happening for 5 years and to celebrate they are honoring 5 people or organizations that have made creative contributions to improving childbirth choices for mothers in the last 5 years. Where’s My Midwife? was chosen alongside:

• Debra Pascali-Bonaro (Orgasmic Birth)

• Abby Epstein & Ricki Lake (Business of Being Born & My Best Birth)

• Christy Turlington (No Woman, No Cry & Every Mother Counts)

• White Ribbon Alliance

We are very excited and honored to be included in such an amazing group of creative activists! We hope that you will join us in New York City.   Before you list all the reasons why spending Labor Day in NYC is impractical visit: www.GetBoldAboutBirth.com.   The play and birthday celebration are being broadcast for free via the internet. All you have to do is sign up. You can even bake a cake and invite all your friends over to watch the play and celebrate with you!

Last spring we went through a bit of a restructuring, and I emerged as the primary blogger.  Little did the rest of the group know, that beneath my exterior of overachieving auditor and mommy of four, I am a slacker.  This summer I have totally failed to share the latest and greatest WMM? news with you.  But while I have been busy eating bonbons and drinking margaritas (oh how I wish!), the rest of the group has been busy.  Some of the things that have gone on since Memorial Day:

• We learned of a Northern Arizona midwife who was under investigation for supporting a VBAC mama.
• This here little blog was featured as one of the 50 Best Blogs About Midwifery.  (I told you people actually read this!)
• We have been quite busy working with our sister organizations here in Wilmington, Women in the Center and the Port City Breastfeeding Project.
• We got a bit of love from Fast Company.
• We were contacted by another midwife who had been pushed out of a job at the practice she built.
• Our very own Maria moved north of the border, making us officially an international organization.  (Yes, this has totally gone to our heads!)  Little did she know, that upon arriving in Orangeville, Ontario, she would learn the local midwives had recently stopped providing midwifery services at the local hospital.  As she put it, it felt like living in the movie Groundhog Day.  Needless to say, despite having just made an international move, she is already busy working to increase access to midwives.
• We also have some very exiting other projects in the works.  You will be hearing more!

So now that we are updated, we are going to work on posting regularly so you can keep up with all our fun and madness – whether you like it or not!

P.S. – It has officially been two years since we found out that our beloved midwives had been fired.  In case you missed it, or want to remember why we are still so fired up, here is our birth story:

“Where’s My Midwife?” from Kirsti Kreutzer on Vimeo.

The lovely and talented Missi Willmarth was awarded the 2011 Kitty Ernst Award at the 56th Annual ACNM Meeting and Expo in San Antonio, TX last week!  We could not be happier for Missi, one of our biggest supporters.  She is the lovely midwife who ran a half marathon last October to raise money for WMM?  Ms. Willmarth is the coordinator for the University of Cincinnati’s nurse-midwifery and women’s health nurse practitioner’s program where she teaches and coordinates the fully on-line Master’s program!

Congratulations, Missi!  YOU ROCK!

Our friends at Choices in Childbirth recently applied for a grant through The Foundation for the Advancement of Midwifery. As one of the 16 finalists for the grant, they are eligible to compete for an additional $5,000 Fan Favorite Award furnished by Floradix. Choices in Childbirth is a nonprofit that educates women about Mother-Friendly childbirth options like doulas, midwives, acupuncturists, and yoga instructors. They work to connect providers with women and families to make the most positive birthing, prenatal, and postnatal experiences possible. They are located in NYC and work as a national organization. Every vote will help them to win crucial dollars that support their educational resources for women: the online Mother-Friendly Provider Network and the printed Guide to a Healthy Birth.  This is where you come in!  Follow this link, and cast your vote.  It’s an exciting time to be working as a birth advocate!

I completed the survey so you can see how it will look:

1. Where are you?  (city, state, provence, country)  Wilmington, NC USA
2. Within 25 miles of your home, how many Obstetricians?  Midwives?  73 OBs (according to my health insurance provider), 4 midwives (licensed by the state and currently catching babies
3. Within 25 miles of your home, how many hospitals with labor and delivery?  Birth Centers?  1 hospital, no birth center
4. How would you describe your community? (rural, suburban, urban)  suburban
5. Describing your most recent birth experience, who was your attendant (if any)?  obstetrician or midwife?  midwife
6. How many home birth practitioners are available?  OB or Midwife?  1 midwife
7. Are there any doulas serving your community? How many?    yes, 11
8. Are childbirth education classes available?  yes
9. How happy are you with your maternity care options?  (Very Happy, Pleased, Disappointed)  Disappointed – not with my midwives, just the lack of options
10. If you could change one thing about maternity care in your community, what would it be?  I would love to have a birth center in Wilmington

Part One is Faith’s recollection of working in the ‘white ward’ of a segregated hospital in the 1960s in Florida:

Stay tuned for Part Two: the Black Ward, and Faith’s own Birth Story.

As I went to write this morning, I decided I would share the latest and greatest in midwifery news with all you lovely people.  For many, a holiday weekend is fast approaching, and for all of us (at least on this side of the equator) spring is finally here.  It seemed a perfect time to write about something heartwarming or joyous like the story that was shared with me last fall about a midwife delivering a baby on an airplane.  So I googled “midwife”, looked for news, and hoped for the best.  While I did discover another baby recently delivered by midwives on an airplane (I guess they are serious when they say to be cautious about flying late in the third trimester!), I also saw this:

Muncie, Indy birthing centers to close May 1

Oh, maaaan.  As soon as I saw the headline, I sighed, took a deep breath, and clicked on the link.  It was disheartening to learn that Indiana is losing not one, but two, birth centers with the closing of Expectations birth center in Muncie and Nurse Midwives of Indianapolis on May 1st.  While the closings don’t appear to be the result of a midwife getting arrested for attending a birth or anything horrible and traumatic, the giant banner on the birth centers’ website announcing the sadness of the closing is very believable.  This is a sad time for Barbara Bechtel, the staff of the birth centers, and the many families who benefited from the services of the centers.

Our hearts go out to you, and if any of you live in Indiana, we would love to hear from you and help in any way we can to expand access to midwives and birth choices in your area.